Sometimes life can feel like it’s on a rocky course through an emotional rollercoaster. Whether it be the sting of rejection, the ache of loss, or the overwhelm of anxiety, difficult emotions are part and parcel of the human experience. Though it totally makes sense that you would want to push the feelings away, learning to validate it is a key move forward.

Understanding Emotional Validation

Emotional validation is allowing for one to understand and accept the current state they are in without passing any judgment. Only then will one get the permission to feel what exactly is being felt, be it uncomfortable or ugly. Too often, we learn to brush off or suppress difficult emotions that then spiral out of control into cycles of self-criticism and avoidance.

Why is it so important

• This Strengthens Self Acceptance: It means accepting oneself and one’s emotional state. This is the foundation of an individual’s self-esteem and leads to having a positive self-concept.

• Intensity Is Reduced:For the most part, difficult emotions become more intense when we try to push them away. By validating your feelings, you can really reduce the power difficult emotions have over you.

• Encourages Expressiveness : Validating how you feel tends to make you express when something is bothering you in a healthy way, rather than using all sorts of unhelpful behaviors to cover up feelings—ultimately making you more open in a relationship.

• Fosters Growth: Validating your emotions will, in the end, make you learn from each experience. This is because every emotion would tend to pass a message; by acknowledging that message, you open the door to understanding yourself on a deeper level.

Steps for validation

• Identify It : One of the first steps is recognition. Sometimes it is important to take a while to do some personal check-ins. Are you feeling sad, angry, frustrated, or anxious?

• Once you are able to know that, acknowledge it without judgment. Convince yourself that experiencing it is okay and that the feelings you are developing are very genuine, no matter what the situation is.

• Source: Reflect on what might have caused all this. Be it an event, a thought, or a memory, the root of the cause will help you regain absolute clarity and perspective.

• Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself and as understanding as you would want your friend to be towards you if you were going through a tough time. Refrain from criticizing yourself and remember that all your reactions are completely normal for a human.

• Express healthily: It is imperative to have a healthy way of expressing emotions. This can be in the form of journaling, talking to a close friend, or through creativity in art or music.

• Seek Support: If the process feels unbearable on your own, seek support. This could be a therapist, counselor, or a support group. Sometimes, having a view from the outside can help you see your inside better.

Common Pitfalls in Validation

• Invalidating thoughts: Notice thoughts like “I shouldn’t feel this way” or “I am over-reacting.” Such thoughts are generally invalidating and not really to your benefit in terms of allowing your experience to be valid. Challenge these by reminding yourself that your feelings are valid, natural, and need to be acknowledged.

• Avoiding Feelings: Hard as it might be sometimes, you might find yourself engaging in work, hobbies, or other activities that might distract you . While it is fine to take a rest from intense feelings, chronic avoidance might lead to emotional numbness and stop you from fully processing your emotions.

• Extrinsic Validation: Relying on others for the validation of your feelings is a problem in and of itself. Relationships, sure, are places you can turn to, when needed. In the long term, however, one has to develop the habit of self-validation. That makes one emotionally resilient and independent.

Getting On with Emotional Validation

This is rather a practice than an event. The more often you validate your feelings, the more easily you are able to surf through both the highs and the lows of life with grace and resilience. After all, feelings are an intrinsic part of the human experience; therefore, the validation of them is a potent tool for emotional well-being.

You can deepen your connection with yourself and establish a more fulfilling, balanced life by embracing your feelings through compassion and understanding. So, the next time you find yourself grappling with difficult emotions, take a moment to pause, breathe, and validate your feelings. You deserve it.