A feminist’s dilemma deals with the modern world problem of gender. The contention between Jaya Bachchan, a veteran actress and member of the Parliament, and Jagdeep Dhankhad, Speaker of the House, over using her husband’s name as a suffix and later escalating to the Speaker’s remarks on maintaining discipline in the house has caused row.
A legislative angle: Who is a Speaker?
A member of the ruling party and in charge of maintaining decorum in the house, presiding over joint sittings, maintaining secrecy, ordering suspensions, entertaining bills, and casting a deciding vote in case of a tie are a few of the many powers that a Speaker commands in the Indian Parliament.
The issue of spelling names was blown out of proportion and raises questions. Are women supposed to be known by their partner’s name? Is vice versa also true? Are women suppressed? Is feminism on the right track?
Gender and lineage
Across centuries, religions, and communities, women have taken their husband’s name. It signifies the union of families, bloodlines, and communities, which leads to a wider kinship and support system in times of need. Men, on the other hand, are supposed to carry on their own lineage, though exceptions exist. There are many tribes like Khasi, Garo, and Jaintia that are matrilineal. Men shift to their in-laws place post-wedding.
In Hindu tradition, gods and great kings have taken after their mother: Gautamiputta Sri Satakarni, Anjani Putra Hanuman, and Yashoda Nandan Krishan.
Challenging Expectations
Women, no doubt, are one of the most exploited groups worldwide. However, we come across a rising trend of victim mentality, where every single woman is expected to be a CEO; if not, equality is flawed. Equality of opportunity is a must and can be ensured to a great extent. Equality of outcome is purely performance based. The government has provided many schemes for women entrepreneurs, like the Stand Up India Scheme, the Mahila Udyan Nidhi Scheme, et cetera. There are issues like red tape, sexual harassment, slut shaming, and stereotypical treatment, even in courtrooms.
These issues, however, worsen when feminism gives an objective definition of success. For example, a woman who is a house-maker and a stay-at-home mom is as respectable as a working woman. Shaming women on their personal choices to an extent where the expectation bars have been raised to an unreasonable level is not very pragmatic. Why do we assume women want the same jobs as men?
Not everyone wants a 14-hour shift; picking flexible hours and work-life balance and wanting to be a boutique owner is a perfectly fine career choice for a man or a woman.
The Feminist Message: Christine Stolba
The feminist message of women as victims has four characteristics.
First, society is organizational, not individual.
Second, women are oppressed, and it is all against one.
Third, only the government has the power to fix this social problem through legislative action.
Fourth, extend favors, mandate quotas, and provide reservations to allow us to display our strength.
Gender dynamics and hypocrisy
However, blaming men for their exploitation of women and keeping silent on alimony extractions is hypocrisy. Alimony is required by those women who are wronged and not as a source of exploitation of the other gender. Comfortably blaming men for their choices, be it in skin color, personal characteristics, or caste, while demanding the same is a bias. One needs to go through matrimony requirements in newspapers to see the same. Adding a prefix or suffix to a name is a personal choice and must be respected. It is not a matter of debate, just an honest misunderstanding.
Assuming self to be powerful and yet denying past victories as mere shams and demanding more makes the struggle worthless. Quick social changes do not last. Women striding forward, 45% of the population, standing with the other 55%, will take the world ahead.
Addressing real needs
That, however, doesn’t amount to breaking every sacred social custom and replacing the so-called patriarchal status quo with a matriarchal status quo. Women in villages and even in poorer sections of the world do not have access to sanitary pads, contraceptives, clothes, or water; they do not understand feminism but need the utmost attention of feminists. Sadly, one doesn’t find any intellectuals there. It is easy to make armchair theories and profess in an air-conditioned room. Quoting Abigail Adams, “All men would be tyrants if they could.” Women are no different.
https://www.reuters.com/investigates/special-report/asia-population-india-bihar/
It is high time we shed ideological biases and see situations for what they are. Crimes against women are crimes against humanity. Stricter laws, stronger women, and supportive men will fix the lacunae. A flawed, partial, and fractured thought process will, to say the least, set the women emancipated backward. No struggle is won alone. With a united front, the world will come close to gender equality—not soon, but someday.
